Saturday, 27 August 2011
If you would like to take part, I have a new course starting around October, so give me a shout on firstname.lastname@example.org. It will not be free next time, I haven't worked out the price yet, but I assure you it will be reasonable.
Friday, 26 August 2011
Tuesday, 23 August 2011
Little A fell asleep early and I watched a great documentary about a village in Yorkshire where half the population has learning difficulties or a mental illness. It was very interesting indeed.
And now I'm sat here and don't know what to do with myself. I'm feeling a bit sad I think. It's like sometimes I can get too happy. It's like my system gets overstimulated and afterwards I just fall down.
Hmh...but maybe I'll just won't care about that and just get on with things. There's laundry to fold, packed lunch to be packed and I'm sure something more.
Monday, 22 August 2011
Day 7; I was on a packed train where nobody wanted to move or get up from the spaces reserved for pushchairs, wheelchairs etc. I got a spot for me and Little A by asking a person to move. Really..? You're sitting where you shouldn't be and I have to ask you to move? What's wrong with people? But it gets worse, a women gets on with a her daughter in a wheelchair. Nobody moves, they were all looking at them though. So I asked a man who looked quite capable to stand, to do just that. He then has the audacity to say "But where will I stand?" I said that he could find a spot and that there should be room for all of us.
Day 8; nothing....I got nothing....
Day 7 bugs me. I didn't do it without effort and it makes me mad just thinking about the situation, but I guess the woman and the child got the benefit even though it wasn't done smoothly...
Friday, 19 August 2011
Day 3; I wrote an email to a person, whose article I had read and found really helpful. She wrote back the next day saying that was pleased to hear from me as it was the first academic piece she had ever written.
Day 4; I don't think I did anything....
Day 5; I bought my husband some flowers and a gift (a new water bottle for when he works out) because this was the first proper week where he and Little A were alone and I am amazed how well he has handled it.
Day 6; hmh....well the day is not over yet.
I think I have to crank it up a notch...
Tuesday, 16 August 2011
Day 1; On my way to work coming up from the underground, I saw a woman with a stroller heading down. I kept walking and then remembered that I had seen that the lift was out of order, so I turned around to she what she was doing. She was trying to get the stroller down the stairs with the toddler walking next to her. People passed by and nobody offered to help. So I turned around, walked back and asked her if she needed a hand and helped her down with the stroller.
Day 2; I offered a pregnant women my seat on the train. She declined but said thank you several times.
Monday, 15 August 2011
I do miss Little A though. Not so much in the mornings, but after lunch it gets quite bad. Luckily I don't work full time so my days are pretty short. I also don't have a long commute to and from work, so that helps too. But when I call home to check how things are going (my husband is on paternity leave now) and I can hear him in the background, I really miss him.
I wish I could structure my work differently and I am might be able to soon. I just have to figure some things out.
This was a pretty boring post, innit?
Sunday, 14 August 2011
Saturday, 13 August 2011
Thursday, 11 August 2011
Monday, 8 August 2011
I painted Little A's high chair and put fabric on his support pillow so that it matches our chairs. I found those sitting in a skip about two years ago. I took them home and brushed them up. Meaning that I cleaned them 5 times and painted them about the same amount of times and then put new fabric on them.
I also made a sleeping area for Little A. He is sleeping in our room because we don't have more than one bedroom. His bed has just been standing next to ours but I thought it was time to make it a bit cosier.
Saturday, 6 August 2011
I am in the process of being brave enough to start my own company. It scares the shit out of me and I don't really know why. Or well I do, the risk of failure of course. But it's not like I'll quit my job and put all my eggs in one basket. I will do it in my spare time and keep my job(s).
What I want to do is to combine my two occupations, psychologist and yoga teacher. I have given it a lot of thought and gradually things are becoming clearer. My first project is going to be a course based on the thoughts in previous post, How to not throw the baby out with the bathwater. It will be about how to become aware of your thoughts and how to address the ones you wish you had less of. Right now I am still working on the format, but I am thinking posts by me on the blog and individual email correspondence between me and the participants. But I also want to create some kind of place where the participants can meet each other and support each other. The course will be internet based, run for 4-5 weeks, the main language will be English, but the individual correspondence can also be in Swedish or Danish if you so wish. It will be free of charge, however I would appreciate that you at the end of the course give me a lot of feedback so that I can get some ideas on how to improve and move on. If you already now have ideas on what you would like, please let me know.
The first course will have a limited number of places, at the moment I am thinking no more than 5 participants. If you are interested, I would like you to email me on email@example.com. I will then keep you updated as to when we will begin (I am thinking in about a month's time) and I will present myself a bit more, with my CV and so on, so you'll know who you are dealing with. If there are more than 5 people interested, I will start a new course about a month after the first one.
I look forward to hearing from you!
Monday, 1 August 2011
How to change one's way of thinking is indeed very simple and very hard at the same time. It is simple because the method, which I will explain shortly, is very simple, but it is hard as there are no shortcuts and no other ways of doing it that are faster.
So, what is the secret then? Well, it is to think the way you want to think. It is really as simple as that, but since it does not come natural to anybody I have met so far, I'll explain it a bit closer. Staying on the subject of eating let me make an example. Say that you are of the opinion that you eat too much sugar. Now, the first thing to do is to examine if that opinion holds true or if you're wrong about it. Evaluate it by examining your view on "too much sugar" compared to how much you really eat. If you eat three chocolate bars, 5 biscuits and use three teaspoons of sugar in your coffee, of which you drink 6 cups a day, every day then yes, I would say that you eat too much sugar. But if you have one slice of cake every week, then I would say no. However, the issue of what is too much or too little is really another subject, so for now let's just say that you have a reasonable goal.
Nobody is perfect so even though you don't want to eat sweet things, you will probably end up doing it anyway. This is where you have a choice. You can choose to beat yourself up about it and tell yourself that you are weak, useless and incapable of sticking to anything. Or you can choose to think "ah well, granted that was not what I intended to happen, but it did and next time temptation arises, I will try resist it" and then you move on. You move on. You don't dwell on it, unless you're thinking about strategies that could help you (like not keeping sweets in the house), otherwise you let go and move on.
This is where I am pretty sure people will say that they can see my point but claim that they can't think the other way. The thing is that you can. You can choose your thoughts. Chew on that for a bit.
Even though we all have millions of automatic thoughts that just pop up without us asking for them, you can choose the next thought. And if there is a new automatic thought, then choose the next one or the next one or the next one, until you find yourself in control and actively choosing what you are thinking. You haven't failed just because you didn't get the first thought. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. You just try again. And again.
The easy part of this technique is that all you have to do is to notice how you think and if it is a thought that you don't like, you replace it with one that you would rather be thinking. The difficult part is to not expect that this will change your life over night. Because good people, it will not. It will change your life, but it will take a long time. How long depends on how much effort you put in. It is all about practise. The first part of the practice is to become aware of your thoughts and for some this means becoming aware of that you are thinking at all, meaning that whatever twirls around in your head are actually thoughts and nothing else. Depending on how attached you are to your thoughts this can take a long time, maybe months, maybe years even. The second part, which you sort of do at the same time as the first part, is to change the unwanted thoughts to wanted thoughts. This part can also take a long time to implement. Maybe you are aware of your thoughts but you just can't stop them. Do you know what you do then? You try and you try again. It is that annoyingly simple. Once you have both things going for you, you might be so lucky that you have replaced the unwanted automatic thought with a wanted automatic thought, but that will take time. Just as you can't possible loose 25 kilos in a week, you cannot, I repeat, cannot change your thinking in a week or even a year. Seriously, if you want to think differently you have to work for it.
I practice what I preach and have done so for perhaps about 7 years and it is only now that I really can see the fruits of my labour. I especially notice it when I read stuff like the post by Duktiga Tjejen because it then becomes clear to me that I used to think like that about food and exercise but I don't any longer. Almost anyway. I do of course sometimes slip back into my old ways. Today, for example I didn't give myself enough credit for getting up at 6.20 am to practise yoga outside in the cold for 40 minutes. Instead I focused on that I didn't practice yesterday and that I should have practiced for longer. Luckily I caught myself and had time to focus on what I was actually doing, which was something great for myself, i.e. yoga on a rooftop while the sun was rising.
As a sidetrack I also want to point out a mistake that we all too often make (in my opinion), which is that we think that when somebody else is doing something that we want to do but find hard, we think that it comes easy to them. Sometimes it does perhaps, but I believe that most of the time those people work really hard for it. But is much easier to think that whatever they are doing comes natural or easy to them and that they don't have to try so hard.
I will end here although I have much more to say on the subject. Please feel free to ask questions if what I have written doesn't make sense to you.