Friday, 24 June 2011

Outside my window

What's wrong with me?!?

Yesterday it was the burned carrots that were supposed to be boiled. Today I rinsed the toaster with water. I don't think that is a good idea. I did unplug it though.

Thursday, 23 June 2011

Burning down the house

I almost did burn the house down. I was going to make carrot mush for Little A but I forgot the pan on the stove and the picture above is the end result. Not good at all.

Toothpaste factory?

Little A and I went to my work yesterday for a meeting with a boss. We went in a bit early to have lunch with my colleagues. The meeting was about my work tasks when I come back and some other stuff. It was all good enough (the meeting and the lunch) but there is such a lack of energy at my workplace. We're doing really important work, but it feels like stepping into a factory that makes toothpaste or something similarly boring and not very important. There is no enthusiasm. I am happy to come back because in a month or so after I come back I will have earned a higher qualification that means that it will be easier to find other work. I don't think I will stay very long after that.

Wednesday, 22 June 2011

Break dancing baby

Another night with interrupted sleep. I have been flipping him every hour. It looks like he is break dancing as he turns his body around his head in a circle. The crib is obviously too small for him to go all the way around and that is when he starts screaming. In the wee morning hours I took him over to our bed and he sleeps better there since he can do a full circle if he wish to. I am actually considering letting him sleep on his own in our bed tonight and we can sleep on the sofa.

I do not understand how other parents cope with this kind of shenanigans every night. I take my hat off for you all.

Tuesday, 21 June 2011

Flipping the baby

Little A has developed a new habit while he is asleep. During the day, when you lay him down on his back, he automatically turns over onto his stomach. Sometimes it looks like there is force making him do it and that he doesn't always fancy it himself. That's all very well but now he has started doing it during the night. Only trouble is that his not comfortable, so he'll start whining (without awaking up) and I'll have to flip him over onto his back where he'll sleep, only to do it again an hour or so later. I lost count of how many times I have flipped him over last night.

Body Fit

I tried a new class at the gym yesterday called Body Fit. I was, as always a bit nervous going there, but it was really good. I think it is a bit similar to Cross Fit, which I am too scared to try. I am stepping up the exercising because I start work in 7 weeks and need to fit into my clothes.

Skinny jeans!

Well, that was a short brake, wasn't it?
Anyhow, maybe I don't need to have such high expectations and this is a good way for me to record what happens in my life.
So, the big news are that I can fit my jeans! And I even think it's my skinny jeans. I can't really remember because my husband threw out my real skinny jeans several years ago because I was too hung up on them. But I think these were my new skinny jeans (which I think is the same size as the old ones). They are a bit tight and I have a small muffin top when I sit down but my ass looks great in them!

Sunday, 19 June 2011

Until we meet again!

Hello there little blog, I'm back from my holiday and we all had a great time. Little A understood the concept of holiday immediately and ate about 20% more than usual and slept for several more hours every day. Exactly like you should on a holiday.
Now when I am back home I have decided to take a break from the blog. I don't have time to write about the things I really want to write about so I end up posting things that really aren't that important to me and I get stressed about not posting what I want.
So I'll have a break. I'll see if Little A keeps up his new habit of sleeping for two hours in a row during the day and if he does I will return with some better writing.

Friday, 10 June 2011

We are going on!

That's right. Leaving tomorrow to go to a rented summerhouse for a week with no internet. It is either going to be heaven or hell. To be without internet I mean, the time away will hopefully be heaven.

Tuesday, 7 June 2011

A bargain from yesterday

We found lots of nice clothes yesterday in the second hand shop. It is of course an advantage that it is cheaper than buying new clothes, but I mostly do it to be environmentally friendly. I think it is madness to buy new clothes to children because they use them for such a short while. Up until now we have had enough clothes that we have been given from friends, but now there seems to be a gap until he can fit the rest of the clothes we have got.

Day 50 out of 100

Today we're halfway on the abs challenge and it is getting hard. I am a little behind and am trying to do two sets per day. I don't know if you kan see a difference, but this is what I looked like when I started. I can feel a difference, but I don't know when the damn loose skin is getting back in place. Anybody who knows?

Monday, 6 June 2011

Summer is still here!

This weather is great for my vitamin d deficiency.
Plans for today:
- go to a second hand shop and see if I can find some stuff for little A
- start making a pair of trousers for myself
- go to a yoga class
- not worry

Saturday, 4 June 2011

Unconditional love?

I am having a bit of a problem every now and then. I get really insecure when somebody comments on Little A. Nobody has ever said anything nasty or mean, but I still get anxious. Little A is a long and slim baby, he is about the same length as babies 2-3 months older, but weighs about the same as his peers. I sometime worry about him not eating enough. The health visitor keeps telling us that he is a lovely baby who is fine as he is active and curious. I, however still think that he could be a bit chubbier.
That is the problem right there. I want him to be something else. He is absolutely fine the way he is, so there is no reason for him to be anything else. But apparently, I am not happy about the way he is. And that makes me sad and upset. Why don't I accept him the way he is? I don't say anything to him and I let him feed the way he wants to, but I catch myself making excuses for him. Or perhaps not excuses, but saying something about his weight before anybody else get a chance, to like make clear that I am aware of his slimness. To sort of deflect attention from it, I guess.
He is a great baby and I am totally in love with him and have a bond with him that I have never experienced with anybody else before. But when somebody is making a comment about him, I start to think that maybe he isn't good enough, which is awful of me. I am suppose to be his rock and love him unconditionally, but am I if I am doubting him?
I know I can't protect him from future (potentially) nasty comments, but I want to be the person he can come to because he will know that I love him no matter what and I will make him feel better. But what if I can't do that?


Summer is here!

Friday, 3 June 2011

Fed up

I am kind of fed up now. With what? I don't know. In my head I am thinking "I'm fed up" and then I am asking myself with what and I just don't know. I'm not fed up with Little A or taking care of him. Or am I?
I just thought that I want to go on a roller coaster! I want to be shaken, both figuratively and literally.

Wednesday, 1 June 2011


I had a dream about my grandmother last night. She passed away almost a year ago and I miss her a lot. In the dream she was living in a fancy apartment building that had shops on the ground floor, like a hotel. We were down there buying buttons and she picked out a beautiful one for me. I said that she should be getting home, but she said that she wanted to go with me. I called my mum to check if that was okay and when she said yes, we took the lift down to the garage where my car was parked. Then I woke up.
Before she died, at a time where she wasn't very well and death was in the cards, I asked her if she had had a good life and she replied:
-The best I have ever had.