Until we meet again!

Hello there little blog, I'm back from my holiday and we all had a great time. Little A understood the concept of holiday immediately and ate about 20% more than usual and slept for several more hours every day. Exactly like you should on a holiday.
Now when I am back home I have decided to take a break from the blog. I don't have time to write about the things I really want to write about so I end up posting things that really aren't that important to me and I get stressed about not posting what I want.
So I'll have a break. I'll see if Little A keeps up his new habit of sleeping for two hours in a row during the day and if he does I will return with some better writing.

We are going on a...holiday!

That's right. Leaving tomorrow to go to a rented summerhouse for a week with no internet. It is either going to be heaven or hell. To be without internet I mean, the time away will hopefully be heaven.

A bargain from yesterday

We found lots of nice clothes yesterday in the second hand shop. It is of course an advantage that it is cheaper than buying new clothes, but I mostly do it to be environmentally friendly. I think it is madness to buy new clothes to children because they use them for such a short while. Up until now we have had enough clothes that we have been given from friends, but now there seems to be a gap until he can fit the rest of the clothes we have got.

Day 50 out of 100

Today we're halfway on the abs challenge and it is getting hard. I am a little behind and am trying to do two sets per day. I don't know if you kan see a difference, but this is what I looked like when I started. I can feel a difference, but I don't know when the damn loose skin is getting back in place. Anybody who knows?

Summer is still here!

This weather is great for my vitamin d deficiency.
Plans for today:
- go to a second hand shop and see if I can find some stuff for little A
- start making a pair of trousers for myself
- go to a yoga class
- not worry

Unconditional love?

I am having a bit of a problem every now and then. I get really insecure when somebody comments on Little A. Nobody has ever said anything nasty or mean, but I still get anxious. Little A is a long and slim baby, he is about the same length as babies 2-3 months older, but weighs about the same as his peers. I sometime worry about him not eating enough. The health visitor keeps telling us that he is a lovely baby who is fine as he is active and curious. I, however still think that he could be a bit chubbier.
That is the problem right there. I want him to be something else. He is absolutely fine the way he is, so there is no reason for him to be anything else. But apparently, I am not happy about the way he is. And that makes me sad and upset. Why don't I accept him the way he is? I don't say anything to him and I let him feed the way he wants to, but I catch myself making excuses for him. Or perhaps not excuses, but saying something about his weight before anybody else get a chance, to like make clear that I am aware of his slimness. To sort of deflect attention from it, I guess.
He is a great baby and I am totally in love with him and have a bond with him that I have never experienced with anybody else before. But when somebody is making a comment about him, I start to think that maybe he isn't good enough, which is awful of me. I am suppose to be his rock and love him unconditionally, but am I if I am doubting him?
I know I can't protect him from future (potentially) nasty comments, but I want to be the person he can come to because he will know that I love him no matter what and I will make him feel better. But what if I can't do that?

Peonies

Summer is here!

Fed up

I am kind of fed up now. With what? I don't know. In my head I am thinking "I'm fed up" and then I am asking myself with what and I just don't know. I'm not fed up with Little A or taking care of him. Or am I?
I just thought that I want to go on a roller coaster! I want to be shaken, both figuratively and literally.

Grandmother

I had a dream about my grandmother last night. She passed away almost a year ago and I miss her a lot. In the dream she was living in a fancy apartment building that had shops on the ground floor, like a hotel. We were down there buying buttons and she picked out a beautiful one for me. I said that she should be getting home, but she said that she wanted to go with me. I called my mum to check if that was okay and when she said yes, we took the lift down to the garage where my car was parked. Then I woke up.
Before she died, at a time where she wasn't very well and death was in the cards, I asked her if she had had a good life and she replied:
-The best I have ever had.