Friday, 4 March 2011

Last week- damned if I do, damned if I don't

I had quite a busy week last week and it is the first week of my maternity leave that I have had an appointment every day (except for Friday). I must say that it has been quite hard. .
It is hard because I can't really relax. I get anxious that he is not sleeping, how to warm the bottle, if he is going to scream and not stop and if he is going to throw up. I tense up in the face and almost grind my teeth.
We have also been to a café for the first time. At the café he was fine and it was nice meeting friends, but it is still hard. It is much easier to stay at home and do what he needs whenever he needs it. I don't find it hard to get out of the flat and being on time, but it means that I don't go out for a walk even though I can see that he needs to sleep as we are going out a bit later and there won't be time.
And when people come and visit it is not always a lot better. One of my best friends was here for a whole day and that was really nice. But he slept for three hours in a row and then I would like to have done other things than just sit and talk to her. But if he is a awake it is quite hard to have a conversation.
So going out is hard, having people over is hard and being on our own is boring. The best option is probably visiting somebody at their home, as then I can leave whenever and it is less bad if he throws up all over me.

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