Little A in his new trousers that I made yesterday. I had bought a pattern, but it was useless as the people who made it didn't seem to know that a three month old baby wears a nappy. So I made my own pattern, which I should have done from the start. There was a bit tweaking, but in the end I am very pleased with the result.
I will be making another pair as soon as possible. I have all this creative energy and I get really frustrated that I can't do all the things that I want to do. But it is a practise in accepting the present moment and being content with what I actually have accomplished and realising that it is enough.
When he is awake, I want him to sleep and when he is sleeping, I want him to wake up.
Little A got his vaccinations yesterday and it was quite awful. I wasn't nervous before and I was fine holding him while the nurse did what she had to do. (Imaging making babies cry for a living...) But I was a bit shaken afterwards, I must admit.
He was a bit cranky and a bit warm in the evening and didn't sleep as well as he usually does, but apart from that he seems fine. Nothing that the Lion can't cure anyway.
It is funny to see how he is developing new skills almost on a daily basis now. He screams a lot louder (not a skill we are great fans of) and yesterday he grabbed a painters brush on purpose. He has been grabbing lots of other things too, but it has always seemed more accidental than anything else. He is using lots more different sounds when he is "talking". And he talks a lot... I wonder where he got that from...?
After Baby A had a bottle a 6 am, he went back to sleep. I put him on the sofa, so that he wouldn't to wake up my sleeping husband.
I then made some bread and practised yoga for a while. Just like in the old days 
I did something that I haven't done before. I went to meet two people I've never met before and had coffee with them. I am actually very proud of myself.
The picture is of me three days before I went into labour. I was almost a week overdue and lots of women think that those last weeks are horrible. But I didn't mind it. He wouldn't come out any faster anyway even if I was fed up, so I just relaxed into it.
During my pregnancy I took more care of myself than I have ever done before. I listened to myself and didn't do things that I didn't feel like. I took a lot of exercise and practised yoga several times a week and during the last 2 months almost every day.
I was surprised by how limited I felt, there were so many things I couldn't do and that I missed. I came to think about how amazing my body is and all the things it could do if I only trained it. So I vowed that when I was done being pregnant and had recovered from birth, I would learn to do a handstand.
Inversions in yoga (headstands and handstands) scare the shit out of me. It's not that I just dislike them, like I do with some other poses too. I'm scared out of my mind. I can't control my breathing anymore, I get sweaty palms (I get sweaty palms now, just writing about it), I don't know what is up or down and my adrenalin is pumping. Not a good starting point when doing a fairly difficult pose. I have been up lots and lots of times, against the wall or somebody helping me. But it has always been in spite, I have always struggled and I have done it against myself.
So when I was pregnant and couldn't do any inversions I promised myself that I would practise and practise so that I one day can do a handstand without thinking that I would die. (This is so far out, every time I write "handstand" my palms get sweaty!)
I won't practise because it is "cool" or because it gives you cred in the yoga world to do advanced poses, I will do it for the delight of it. Right now I can't spot the delight, but I will find it. I'll keep you posted.
There are so many things I want to write about. Like what I think about motherhood so far and stuff about the birth, but I never have the time. Or I do have the time but I just feel so stressed all the time, that I'm always hurrying through things.
Even as I am writing this, I'm thinking that I should be doing something else. Or I'm asking myself if there is something more useful I could do. Of course there is but I decided a few minutes that I was going to write something so why not stick to that?
I lost track of what I wanted to say. Good night.
Just as I was about to put the caramelized red onion and goat cheese tart in the oven, the electricity was gone. Perfect timing... So we ordered a pizza sandwich instead. Will eat the tart tomorrow.
We have had a crazy packed weekend and I'm exhausted.
On Saturday we had two sets of guests, one set in the morning and when they left, the other set arrived after an hour. Oh, and we cleaned the flat before they came too.
On Sunday I went to my yoga class. When it was finished my husband and Little A was waiting for me and we went flat looking. We saw 5 flats in total. I don't know if it was too much to-ing and fro-ing, but he seemed alright. We came home and 15 minutes later my friend came to borrow some maternity clothes.
It has been a good weekend and good have done all the things we did, but next weekend we'll try to keep it to a minimal.
